SuperDerek

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Ring shop: hour 2.5

The VIPs continue to feast, buzzard-like from the belly of the carcass. The meat appears good as neither of them have perished. In a moment of "charity", they have insisted I take a bite. I am afraid of them so I agree.

Also, before I only had the muffin top on my waist to worry about. Now it turns out fatty Derek has friggin muffin tops on each side of his finger too. Super.

Ring shop: hour 2.2

From adversity comes possible success. While the porter and I were busy chasing down the VIPs, who were under the delusion they were both invisible and super fast, we stumbled
Across another carcass. Showing a strength which belies their small frames, they grasped the head of the carcass and without benefit of knife or machete, they ripped the head off.

Ring shop: hour 2

We have made emergency camp due to injury (I had to pee). The VIPs show unusual energy and vigor despite the trials so far. Our last remaining porter has pulled me aside and warned me that the VIPs may have stumbled upon thickets of charlie sheen berries earlier. We will have to keep a close eye on them until they slow down/regain feeling in their front teeth...

Ring shop: hour 2

Remnants of our party have regrouped at the carls jr. We are down to the two VIPs, one porter and myself. We are low on food, water, rifle shells and morale.

Ring shop: hour attack!!?:$:

Journal, I write this with shaking hands. As we continued our search, we were attacked. Upon entering an area of particularly promising sweet grass, an entire flock of vultures descended on us. We were overwhelmed and the party was scattered. Much to my shame, I fled for my life. I managed to capture one hasty photo of my charges, surrounded by more painted ladies of poor purchase than I have ever seen congregated together outside of my nightmares...